I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
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