i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
