Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
