just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
