Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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