the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
