Four minutes until I can fart!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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