I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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