pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
