Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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