In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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