I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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