that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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