bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
