so explain again why im purple
no
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I have post one night stand depression
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