let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need to calm my uterus...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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