Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
