I think I died a long time ago.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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