YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
