what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
