so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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