i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
