some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
