talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
