some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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