Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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