So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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