the new term for farting is butt boxing.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
