best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
