either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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