porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You can't motorboat a personality
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
