Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize