It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
