The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
