omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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