how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
