but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
