they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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