just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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