i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
