No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is wine microwaveable?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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