I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
