i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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