the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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