For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
