how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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