How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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