I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
