yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
