so that wasnt chicken after all
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
