I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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