Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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