My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
