you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
