Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
