If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
