Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize