I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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