did you get engaged???
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
