I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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