It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so let's talk penis.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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