They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
