Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
