How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
