:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize