And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
