we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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