I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
