I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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