Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
