It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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