Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
