About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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