what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
