the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
