I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
