Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
