i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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