i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
